The Dancer or The Jock?

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Modern romance is one of those things in life you wish you saw more of. But you do not, save for those shortlived celebrity romances that always seem to burn out faster than you can enjoy them.

I do enjoy them. What I don’t enjoy are those MTV stories about Jennifer Lopez going out with her backup dancer, or Britney Spears having a good marriage with some dude that looks Arabic and lost in Florida.

What is so fascinating about those stories? That is a celebrity dating an ordinary, confused dude that isn’t a looker for sure – to me, he looks made for those that can’t score with a Channing Tatum!

I mean, why not go out with a dude, who looks like him but not him because it’s so much simpler on your nerves, that go from anger to frustration, in seconds, with a Tatum?

That makes me think out loud about what kind of dudes those are that they have to look like Channing Tatum to score? Not particularly good ones, in my opinion!

These women that appear on the arm of celebrities on the red carpet might be “besties”, whatever that is but they will do absolutely anything when they can sniff power. Jealous, much? I can’t see why they wouldn’t be: they are fair people in Nottingham, who don’t understand what is a Pakistani rickshaw…if you are lucky, one might even recognize one from a holiday there! They are that “blonde”, fat and married with babies , in Gucci, in their twenties in Paris! “What hotties!”

It is so hard to find real life tales of romance, that isn’t offbeat – there is always a separation involved and you are back to square one!

The other day I heard the strangest rumour, it just chose to land on my desk – most boys here like to get married in their late twenties, much like the women they marry – ‘looking fat in Gucci and obsessed with babies’!

I didn’t know what to do with it, except pile it under those hate-mails I receive from girlfriends of all my friends because she never agreed to us being friends because I’m so damn fit!

Some of them are “just mates” instead of “just married” to my mates but I don’t buy that because they are built of lies. Why should I believe them? Those babies-obsessed women are so desperate to get married, they secretly only want that relationship to flourish, with anyone worthy: Ryan Reynolds or Hugh Grant.

They like to dictate the narrative for my mates, rather than have them do it in the public because they are their “sweet cupcake since they were babies”. Are we sure Bar Refaeli isn’t on about Tom Hardy, instead of Leonardo DiCaprio?

Apparently, that Hardy dude is most wanted by some women who also adore Valentino and Sergio Rossi! I can’t add much to that except pronounce that the Hardy dude was the ugliest thing about The Revenant!
I wonder what got him that role…the bear seems more interesting and important! Doesn’t it? Peace out, man, and have a cool attitude about freedom of speech and every kid’s right to bloody amazing perspectives, loves and loathes!


Author: Osmi Anannya

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