Fat Pig’s Showdown Over Cantonese Noodles

Jack’s third diary entry

Whale has invited both Jack and Fat Pig’s family to dinner. Jack is very excited about the dinner party because this is the first time he is going to one. In his home, the fat mutt is lying in bed and listening to his most favourite The Beatles singles and thinking about Hot Dog.

Jack: Mmm…so the dinner party is almost here! I wonder what Hot Dog will be wearing to it…if she wears that icy blue dress of hers I like so much then I need to rethink my wardrobe, because I cannot wear just a pair of jeans and my alien-green t-shirt. I like that t-shirt though because it’s got a print of a cauliflower on it, and it’s doing a kind of dancing in the rain…a cartoonish cauliflower…

At that moment, a knock appears on Jack’s door, which he jumps off his bed to answer. Hot Dog has turned up to discuss about the dinner party celebrations; she is anxious over the guest list she has helped Whale prepare, and the menu the two of them will be cooking up.

Hot Dog: So, I have only invited Fat Pig’s Dad and your Dad, apart from you and Fat Pig. Is that alright? How do you think it’s going to look, when our friendly neighbours aren’t there? I don’t think…I can’t like even think straight because of all the all-nighters Whale is making me do for geometry practice!

Jack: I don’t think you should invite over friendly neighbours because this dinner party is just for the six of us…our pets can be there, for sure!

Hot Dog: Oooh! Our hamsters are already prancing around our garden gnomes but I’m sure Pig’s honeycomb nest or whatever that is for his pets, them bees, can never be inside our house!

Jack: I wasn’t talking of Fat Pig’s bees!

Hot Dog: Oh! But just as well! Pig’s always obsessing about bees of all kinds of pets…

Jack: Yeahhh! What’s on the menu for the dinner party?

Hot Dog: I can’t tell you too much about it because mine and Whale’s menu is meant to be a secret, until you guys come over but how do you feel about brussels sprouts?

Jack: Yuck! Why are you asking? How is it that you don’t like them but don’t know yet I don’t too?

Hot Dog: But, you like tradition on like Christmas…don’t you? Brussels sprouts must always make their ugly appearance amidst the delicious goodies…

Jack: If they are dressed in a tub of mayo and salsa, maybe, yeah!

Fat Pig’s second diary entry

Fat Pig and Mr. Brown are in the neighbourhood supermarket and in the middle of a spirited debate. Mr. Brown wanted to simply buy a bouquet of flowers for Whale, and a box of chocolates for Hot Dog, as a nice thank you for having invited him and his son to their dinner party. But Pig has other things in his mind, that Mr. Brown must also address…at the supermarket…

Fat Pig: I want to eat potato fritters, fried with vegetable oil for lunch…RIGHT NOW!

Mr. Brown: What? You know these dining spaces at our neighbourhood supermarket are far too expensive. You cannot have potato fritters for lunch…just go and get yourself a pack or two of crisps for lunch.

Fat Pig: Nooooooooooooooo! I want my food from this vegetarian dining space at the supermarket, and I want it frequently!

Mr.Brown: The food here is rubbish too, Fat Pig!

Fat Pig: Oh My God! I cannot believe you actually told me something like this, twice, so loudly in front of Auntie Mabel Kin. How humiliating! And how will I ever show my face to Hot Dog, when you are treating me like this after our poetry all-nighters? Give me food, it can even be my chosen dish of lovingly cooked Cantonese noodles, from Auntie Mabel Kin’s dining space right now before I humiliate you back in front of her about how badly you cook a puri!

Mr. Brown: You are unbelievably rude to me young boy, despite being nothing more to me than a drunken night’s irritating leftover! How can you just behave like this with me? And you cannot show your face to Hot Dog? I cannot show my face to Hot Dog!!! She only has bacon and veg sandwiches for lunch, and look at you crave unhealthy food from this stupid place, unlike your friend! Babies like you are really so bloody annoying…

Fat Pig: …you are an idiot. You really, really, really are! I want food from this dining space…I really, really, really do…GIVE ME MY CANTONESE NOODLES WITH TOFU, CHILLI CHICKEN AND FRIED CABBAGE, RIGHT NOW!!!


Author: Osmi Anannya

Blogger. ♥

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