When you read about Gisele Bundchen so many thoughts come to mind. The first is that she is a supermodel, or was a supermodel. Gisele has not really seen as much success as a model as she has as a sex-symbol. Older contemporaries found more success and still maintains a good standing as one of the original supermodels, despite their age crossing a firm forty. In these climates, it’s not surprising to see why Gisele quit modelling despite being only 35 years old. As one of those special supermodels who lost her sex-symbol tag to Kim Kardashian, some couple of months back, Gisele is one rose who has most definitely withered in her mid-thirties. She only ever got hounded by the media because once upon a time she was Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriend, and the whole world wanted to know how she managed to date a guy that almost every teenager lusted after.
As childish as that thought sounds that is what Leonardo DiCaprio was all about in the late nineties and beyond and still is to so many women. This was when “Leo-mania” peaked and Gisele capitalized on all of that because she was so interested in being that trophy wife, that most heartthrobs wanted. She was a supermodel who has a career but it was subordinate to a man and the whole maternal instinct. Every guy in town wants to go out with a woman who can cook for them, who can make them fall in love with them with their child-like attitudes to everything – I call it foolish but I’m not a dude who has those problems of what to buy a supermodel for breakfast and dinner, just to score!!! Gisele could not tolerate Leo’s womanizing escapades, much like his heroines in all of his films, on screen ofcourse…where they all look so different from what is conventionally called beautiful.
Their five year relationship was all over the gossip columns and it was always make-up and break-up and make-up and break-up. Imagine! How annoying that must be when you are reading the gossip columns! As an avid reader of Daily Mail and it’s gossip sheets imagine what it feels like to see Leonardo DiCaprio bounce with one bikini babe after another on a yacht as you are having your breakfast tea! It feels pretty darn funny when you see how unattractive all his girlfriends (past and present) look in Gucci but I’m sure they’ll look “naturally beautiful” in those retarded concepts of vintage fashion, where it’s only vintage if it’s your friend’s light blue/white school uniform she wore to #Sekolah every single weekday.
Leo could not believe Gisele would not commit to him and that’s how the two broke up but if rumours are to be believed then Leonardo DiCaprio never got over Gisele Bundchen – he drunk-dials her and it’s not hard to see why he would because Gisele perhaps lay in bed and cried over losing him for perhaps forever. Men love to see women cry over them because it’s such an ego-boost to have a woman offer themselves upto you, like a plate filled with tasty dishes. Naturally, these women’s self-respect goes out the window when they meet and fall hopelessly in love with a man they must have at all costs. But that is besides the point to these women because all that matters is to have that man and his babies. Oh well! That’s Hollywood and heartthrobs for you! We must make room for all like Gisele Bundchen because of heartthrobs and their like totally “moronic” dates, that you would probably need God-damn binoculars to know more about if they became the new Prince William and Kate Middleton, with a baby on the tow! This is where you roll your eyes, put on lip gloss and declare that you love “Yellow” as the soundtrack to your life, just because you want to feel happy about the rain!
Hot Dog, Fat Pig and Jack are hanging out together at the fort because it’s their day off from school – they have no classes today but plenty of homework to do.
Fat Pig: So the sum of 2 + 2 is 0.
Jack: No that’s 4.
Hot Dog: Yeah, what you did was subtraction!
Jack: I have the perfect idea for the play…I just wanted to increase Juliet’s presence more in the play with the gold-loving dog!
Hot Dog: No Romeo does not belong with Rosaline! It’s not like it’s Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew that the male protagonist fell in love with an arrogant, snobby and evil girl and somehow miraculously she consented to the marriage after like making fun of him and his affections, all her life!
Fat Pig: That is my favourite story in the whole world! I love how she beeees evil in her attitude towards the guy!
Jack:…….you are making it impossible for me to end the story, you really are! I must now go back to the drawing board and do what Shakespeare could not do…
Hot Dog: What are you saying, you are Shakespeare?
Jack: Nope, maybe be another Hemingway!
Fat Pig: Yeah, like how Hot Dog is a mini-Einstein!
Whale and Bart are busy working at the office today. They are busy reviewing the latest scientific publications.
Bart: Why is it so noisy today?
Whale: Random House is having construction works going on to build it’s new Shakespeare annex!
Bart: (yells) Tim!!! Tell them to pipe down!..
Tim: Yes, Miss!!!!!!
Bart: Tim is the new janitor!
Whale: Yeah! I can’t believe I’m going to do the cover for the new Albert Einstein book! He’s great!
Bart: I know! E = mc (square) isn’t even hard! Everyone found it so tremendously challenging but it really wasn’t. And I did that in my A-Levels!
Bart: I did E = mc (square) in my A-Levels because I did EDEXCEL all my school life!…The kids who did Cambridge treated it like it was so basic like learning about what is an element and what is a compound, whilst doing semi-advanced Chemistry!
Whale: They would! Most of them go to uni, like to Oxbridge and don’t know what is India, except that it’s a country filled with poor people!
Hot Dog and Jack are hanging out at Jack’s fort again, while the hunt for perfect materials for Romeo’s wardrobe goes on.
Hot Dog: Did you know that Alicia and Fred are going out?
Jack: No! Since when?
Hot Dog: Since three days. But that’s not the most surprising story…it’s that Jane cheated on her boyfriend who like lives in Philadelphia, with that gold-loving-dog, you hate!
Jack: OMG! That’s Alexander! How did that happen?
Hot Dog: Jane and her boyfriend went through a rough patch recently and it looked like they were gonna break up. He didn’t like her being in the school play with him. They are from the Juliet camp!
Jack: What? That guy’s in the play? There is no way you are going to play Romeo while he’s there!!!
Hot Dog: What? Yes, I was gonna say that he did a grand thing by making it difficult for her to be an actress. But really? You don’t decide that…Whale does!
Jack: I need to be there with you through the whole frame, on stage!
Hot Dog: WHAT?!?! There is no way that is happening!…btw, have you made out with #Gisele, the supermodel, yet? I saw on People mag everyone, in and out of Hollywood is!
Jack: Stop doing that when your mad!
Hot Dog: I’m not mad! Are you gonna cry again like the kind of girls Alexander really belongs with because I’m so bloody fierce?
Jack: Dog…shut up! I must get a bigger role in the school play now and it must be little bit different!
Hot Dog: What are you gonna play? Gonzalez in an altered Shakespeare?
Deepavali was recently celebrated in Malaysia and it is a public holiday here. The occasion is also known as the ‘festival of lights’ and it is a time when a lot of lights can be seen shinning in plenty of housetops, doors, windows and also in temples. The day involves prayers, lighting up diyas, eating sweets and gift-giving to loved ones. But how did India celebrate Diwali and what did their day involve for the special occasion?
Diamonds could rival your dog as “the best friend”. But not for me, I would rather have amazing dogs as my best friend. These though are some of the favourite ways you can wear the jewels…just, make sure never to have too much on, all at once!
Hot Dog wants to play with her rabbits. But she can’t because they are fast asleep after catching breakfast. They’re so lazy thinks Hot Dog as she slurps strawberry ice cream made by Jim and picks up the vintage phone that’s ringing, with a purpose.
Hot Dog: Hello! OMG Jack!
Jack: Yeah, did you just see the advert for Happy Meals on Cartoon Network?
Hot Dog: I did, yeah! Like, who wants Ben 10 that badly – it’s everywhere! They never put out good toys!
Jack: I know! It’s no Superman or Batman…AGAIN!
At that precise time, Whale pages Jim an important message.
Whale: I am pretty certain I just saw a cupcake cross the road.
Jim: (pages back) What?
Whale: The school in one of the neighborhood close to ours is having a school play on and a boy just crossed the road opposite the shop as a cupcake, as I’m still driving to the shop.
Jim: What show-offs!
Whale: Mmmmmm…I think I’m gonna chase him, his father was an Ice Cream Sundae!
Whale has gone to a shop in the neighborhood that has been selling yards of materials, since 1908, to get some golden ribbons, with solitare hearts/aces/spades print for Hot Dog’s costumes. Whale must particularly have those designs he has imagined, from his favorite materials shop. Hot Dog is meanwhile, watching Cartoon Network as Fat Pig’s father babysits her.
Hot Dog: Where’s Pig?
Fat Pig’s Dad: At home, with his grandfather! You can call me Jim btw! Are you hungry? Would you like me to make you ice cream?
Hot Dog: Nah, I’m good! Do you make them nicely? What’s Pig’s grandfather like, Jim?
Jim: I hate him! He was rude to me as a child a lot! He always made fun of me because I wanted to be an architect.
Hot Dog: Why?
Jim: He thought I didn’t have it in me. And Pig adores him and his stories of being a pharmaceutical industrialist…I make great strawberries turn into delicious ice cream.
Hot Dog: Oh so Pig’s grandfather is a homeopathic doctor that is huge for his homeopathic inventions?
Jim: Uh-huh! He was always about his medicine box and trees, plants, roots of trees so, I was left all alone with nothing but Renaissance architecture designs to inspire me and hopes that someday I will be quite big.
Hot Dog: Did you want Pig then?
Jim: Oh no! Pig happened because of a broken condom!