Whale Talks Fishing

Whale is spending time with his boss today, after being back at work. They are talking about a lot of different things and catching up!
Whale: Would you like some wasabi peas, Ms. Bart?
Bart: Huh? No, I am good! Cheers! Do you like wasabi peas??
Whale: Yes, it’s my favourite snack in the whole world. Do you have a favourite snack yet?
Bart: I love crisps – I can’t get enough of them. Off-late I am a little bit addicted to seaweed though.
Whale: You have seaweed as a snack? Isn’t that like greens?
Bart: Yeah, it is but it’s fried and tastes like fried fish!
Whale:…I am sorry for the delay in getting back to work but you will not believe how ill some chicken soup had made me.
Bart: That’s alright! Are you feeling better now? I have to say I am not feeling that amazing myself. I just got off a bad case of flu too and my mouth has lost all taste, when it comes to food!
Whale: Oh noooooooo! I hate it when that happens. It’s like getting a burnt tongue, whilst drinking coffee, without trying! I am doing better, though still feel really cold all the time. Do you think it has something to do with the monsoon season?
Bart: Maybe! Everything is getting colder by the minute! Looks like we will be having a cold Christmas this year!
Whale: I hate when you wake up on Christmas mornings and find that not one of your presents this year has been worthwhile. Last year, I spent Christmas alone with a good book and I found that all I ever got as presents were water flasks, chocolates and chunky jumpers in mustard, pink and tourmaline.
Bart: Yuck! Last Christmas was good for me. I spent the whole day with my best mate from school. We made each other’s presents and then did our Christmas roasts. I have no idea how this year’s Christmas is gonna go though – it looks like it will be a proper busy Christmas household with presents, hanging out and roasts.
Whale: I know what it’ll be like at my household. I wanted to go fishing with my Dad this holidays, so I think after spending collecting yet more water flasks, I’ll be off to that adventure.
Bart: You want to go fishing in winter? Is that on Boxing Day you are going?
Whale: Yup! I want to show my Dad I too can catch a mackerel, and then gut it and roast it by an open fire!
Bart: So, it’s going to be a camping event too, huh? It’s been ages since I have done that with my Dad. It’s hectic enough to do Christmas roasts with him, he has like a million things he provides as inputs but then expects everything to go his way.
Whale: I know!!! My Dad thinks I don’t even know you need worms to catch fish, can’t gut and clean them before roasting on an open fire and forget about catching a mackerel!
Bart: Aren’t Dads supposed to bond with their kids over episodes like this?
Whale: That’s what I thought so too but looks like ours just like to either show off or dictate. Like Santa’s happy little helpers!
Bart: Cannot wait to get on Santa’s sleigh this year too!
Whale: The closest I’ll ever get to Santa being real is see other kids’ Dads dressing up as ones and making use of the mistletoe to the hilt! Come to think of it they sound more real than our Dads – it’s enough to make you grumble all over the Christmas!
Bart: Maybe they just like us to always agree with them on every little thing?
Whale: When will I get my codependent relationship?

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Whale Is Wearing A Shawl Today

It has been a longtime since Whale has been to the office. After one of his many little meetings with Margot, he unexpectedly fell ill with a really bad flu so had to call in sick for days. Still feeling under-the-weather, and gloomy about how Margot’s homemade chicken soup at the park has made him this badly ill Whale has stumbled back onto Coconut Publishing, wearing a cashmere shawl.

His first task today is to meet his boss: Bart, but she has gone for her coffee break! While he is waiting for her to come back to the office for him to say “Hello!” to, Whale chances upon a piece of sketch that Bart has been working on for one of the many technology publications she has to work on as the Editor.

Whale is simultaneously hooked and teary-eyed at how much F.U.N. he has been missing out on, all because of THAT super-spicy chicken soup! Whale really wants to go back in time and not eat that homecooked chicken soup he just had to and also say:

“Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Must have chicken soup at Hyde Park, with Margot baby!!”

Whale Talks About Amanda

Whale has met up with Margot after a very long time. He was out shopping at Tesco, when his food trolley collided with hers. Before you know it, Whale cannot help but be drawn to her, once more.
Whale: ……….Margot! I haven’t seen you in over a month! How have you been all this time?
Margot: (smiles) I have been great! You seem to have put on so much weight?
Whale: Huh? Oh it’s nothing! I just ate too much of apple pie, last night at Amanda’s!
Margot: Who’s Amanda?
Whale: This girl I’m seeing, since we broke up!
Margot: You have been seeing someone, since we broke up?
Whale: Yes, she’s a lovely girl! I met her through a friend and we instantly felt a spark!
Margot: Well, I haven’t…met anyone yet!
Whale: No way! You have been single all this time?……How?
Margot: I just…couldn’t find the right man to date, since our relationship fell apart.
Whale: I can’t believe it! And with that hot bod?
Margot: (blushes) Oh run along, now! What will Amanda say when she finds out you are complimenting your ex?
Whale: She will think nothing of it! I am simply complimenting a girl I have had such a past with!
Margot: We did have a great past, that we did!
Whale: Margot, baby!!! Don’t go! Do you want to meet up after we have finished shopping? Maybe we can have dinner tonight! Just as friends!
Margot: Sure….why not?
…………………………………
Meanwhile, at the other end of the town Amanda is having a very thoughtful discussion, with someone she has admired for a long time now.
Amanda: I can’t believe, I finally got a chance to meet you! And so unexpectedly at the bookshop!
Bart: Oh that’s alright! I don’t believe we have met? Who are you?
Amanda: I am this…a waitress at a….restaurant. I have been a big fan of your work, for many years now.
Bart: You are a big fan of my copyediting?
Amanda: Yes! Whenever I see a book come off the Penguin label, I instantly know I will like it.
Bart: Oh! That’s……amazing! So, you work as a waitress?
……………………………………..
Whale and Margot are now busy having coffee at a local Starbucks. The two are feeling feelings that are new to neither, for each other.
Margot: So, how long have you been seeing this girl Amanda, again?
Whale: Oh my God! You actually remembered her name? You are so wonderful!

Whale Meets Hot Dog

It is Sunday. Whale has been anticipating this weekend for a very long time, infact ever since he moved home to be closer to work. Today is the day Whale is going to be getting a puppy for his home. So, off he goes to Borough, to get a new playmate for himself.
When Whale arrives at the shop, you can hear the sound of a bell jingle and a wooden door creaks open.
Shopkeeper: Yes!
Whale: Morning! I am looking for a puppy for myself and my home. I have wanted to get one since I was a child, and there has never been the right moment to do so, until now.
Shopkeeper: My! That’s a heartwarming story! We have many dogs in the shop. Why don’t you take a look and let me know, which you would want?
Whale: Alright! Oh My God! Look at all the hairy puppies! I think I would like a small dog. She can follow me everywhere I go. Let’s see which do I want!!! Oh look at that little poodle…it’s busy eating six carrots.
Poodle looks up at Whale and growls.
Whale: Lovely! I can’t wait to braid your hair!…Oh there is one right next to it, sleeping so soundly. Hello! (pokes the cage) How are you?…………………….It’s a Dachshund.
Dachshund: (opens it’s eyes and looks at Whale sheepishly). Hi!
Whale: GYAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!….Did you just say “Hi”?
Dachshund: Yes, I did! Is that exclamation a greeting for where you are from?
Whale: ……………No! I just got startled! I’m from Chelsea. Is that where your home is? Oh what am I doing! You don’t remember all of that.
Dachshund: I’m from a hunting pack of dogs. My family was especially skilled in catching foxes and working together with hounds, to please their masters.
Whale: ……….Yes, I would like this dog! (goes off to tell the shopkeeper)
Whale buys the Daschund and leaves the shoppe, with it in a brown paper bag.
Dachshund: (pops his head out of the brown paper bag) Oh it’s snowing. My cage was all the way in the back – the only view I got for the last few days, was of crop piles, for the horses.
Whale: You do not have to worry about that anymore, Hot Dog. It snows all around my house, during winter. I can also find you a nice spot to sleep on next to the fireplace, as I read.
Dachshund: Do you live alone?
Whale: Yes, I do. I have got no friends at all, aside from Ms. Bart.
Dachshund: What about your wife?
Whale: I don’t have any but I have been kind of seeing this lady Amanda, who adores chutney, poppadums and salsa.
Dachshund: Together?
Whale: Yeah! It’s filthy! I like the dishes on their own but never together. Have you ever had them?
Dachshund: Nope. I was only fed a diet of milk, tomatoes and oats. But never together.
Whale: I can whip up a mean milkshake myself, with strawberry.
Dachshund: Can you? I never had a milkshake. Just those pure milk, that the milkman would bring around to the place in crates of bottles. The shopkeeper kept insiting it was necessary for the puppies to drink a whole milk bottle every weekday.
Whale: …………..I grow strawberries in my garden. So, they will be seasonal too for fruity milk. You can play with them, as I make my delicious milkshake.

Whale & Bart…Gossip

Whale is sitting at the balcony on the second floor of the office, hungrily reading a tabloid. Bart notices this while running to-and-fro, from her office for emergency stationary, and stops for a second to chat.
Bart: What you reading?
Whale:…Huh? Oh Hi Miss Bart!..Oh nothing! Just Hollywood gossip!
Bart: Anything interesting?
Whale: Nah! Not really! I was looking at Leonardo DiCaprio’s past girlfriends and comparing them to those of Ryan Reynolds. DiCaprio went out with every actress/model/recording artist that was a hit in the ’90s.
Bart: Oh did he? He was that desperate to get laid, huh?
Whale:….Yeah! But Reynolds was something else…he got married three times already, and he’s like your age.
Bart: Oh that’s like the social protocol of Hollywood heartthrobs. They are a different species from the rest of us super-successful people, irrespective of whether or not you are a Hollywood star! They must get married young because they were unloved as kids.
Whale:……………Really? Is that why they made it? They could connect emotionally with the painful experiences of those in service-jobs?
Bart: Mmmmm! I think so yeah! I think we will be getting a round of “Put a ring on it!” from DiCaprio’s “latest squeeze” and her fans, soon!
Whale:…..Can’t wait for that wedding to appear on Hello!
Bart: Yeah, he’s just not posh enough for People.
Whale: Precisely. It’s because he’s crazy in love!
Bart: What else do you expect when your the “Baby Boy” of so many Kates?
Whale:…………….I loved it when he went out with Gisele. I never followed it but the photos seems to have captured the true essence of their young love: getting uglier by the day at the beach.
Bart: Yeah! He loves slender, athletic Brazilian bombshells!

Whale’s Antics on #TGIF

Whale has been busy working whole day today. It’s #TGIF and he cannot wait for the weekend to start so that he can kick back and relax with tea and a good book.

Whale is about to go back home, when he chances upon a scribble left by Bart on the window of the office space he shares, with his co-workers. He finds the animated illustrations fascinating.

Whale Goes Red

Whale is conversing with a coworker today, at lunch. He hasn’t spoken to John, in ages. John is the Assistant Editor, and works right below, the Editor-at-Large, Bart. Over tea, they are discussing the political climate in Great Britain.
Whale: The other day, I was seeing the Prime Minister address his rumors about quitting politics if he lost. I was so ecstatic when I thought he might be onto something, but then he snailed out of it and landed on shy murmurs.
John: Really? This climate is so frustrating at times! Can you believe the candidates they are putting out for the opposition? No one cares, at all and it is infuriating.
Whale: Oh, is that what angers you…irresponsible people in positions of power?
John: Yes! It doesn’t bother you?
Whale: It does! I can barely control my anger on some days but last night I met something that angered me more.
John: Really? What was it?
Whale: The opposition’s supporters who thought the Prime Minister would stop with the shy murmurs.
John: …..
Whale: I mean, it was like being on pins and needles. The atmosphere was so unbearable. They are learning nothing from Ms. Bart’s published books.
John: ….you expect them to change that much now that she took over Coconut Publishing?
Whale: But they love the books, the cover arts. Business is doing so well. I have actually seen some devour the flap descriptions at The Bluebells (a bookshop).
John: Aren’t you simple-minded? Society might be advancing but some people never change their colors.
Whale: You know, I do wish they would share a little bit of my red face, sometimes!